Some researchers have called the authenticity of this diary into question.

1959

Oct. 16. Arrive from Helsinki by train; am met by Intourest Repre. and in car to hotel "Berlin". Reges. as. "studet" 5 day Lux. tourist. Ticket.) Meet my intorist guied Rimma Sherikova I explain to her I wish to appli. for Rus. citizenship. She is flabbergassed, but aggrees to help. She checks with her boss, main office Intour; than helps me add. a letter to Sup. Sovit asking for citizenship, mean while boss telephons passport & visa office and notifies them about me.

Oct. 17. Rimma meets me for Intourist sightseeing says we must contin. with this although I am too nevous she is "sure" I'll have an anserwer. soon. Asks me about myself and my reasons for doing this. I explaine I am a communist, ect. She is politly sym. but uneasy now. She tries to be a friend to me. she feels sorrty for me I am someth. new.

Sun. Oct. 18. My 20th birthday, we visit exhib. in morning and in the after noon The Lenin-Stalin tomb. She gives me a present Book "Ideot" by Dostoevski, aned still no word from auth. about my reqest.

Oct. 20. Rimmer in the afternoon says Intourist was notified by the pass & visa dept. that they want to see me I am excited greatly by this news.

Oct. 21. (mor) Meeting with single offial. Balding stout, black suit fairly. good English, askes what do I want?, I say Sovite citizenship, he ask why I give vauge answers about "Great Soviet Union." He tells me "USSR only great in Literature wants me to go back home." I am stunned. I reiterate, he says he shall check and let me know weather my visa will be (extended it exipiers today). Eve. 6.00 Recive word from police official. I must leave country tonight at. 8.00 P.M. as visa expirs. I am shocked!! My dreams! I retire to my room. I have $100. left. I have waited for 2 year to be accepted. My fondes dreams are shattered because of a petty offial; because of bad planning I planned so much! 7.00P.M. I decide to end it. Soak rist in cold water to numb the pain. Than slash my left wrist. Than plaug wrist into bathtub of hot water. I think "when Rimma comes at 8. to find me dead it wil be a great shock. somewhere a violin plays as I watch my life whirl away. I think to myself. "how easy to die" and "a sweet death, (to violins) about 8.00 Rimma finds my unconcious (bathtub water a rich red color) she screams (I remember that) and runs for help. Amulance comes, am taken to hospital where five stitches are put in my wrist. Poor Rimmea stays by my side as interrpator (my Russian is still very bad) far into the night, I tell her "go home" (my mood is bad) but she stays, she is "my friend" She has a strong will only at this moment I notice she is preety

Oct. 22. Hospital I am in a small room with about 12 others (sick persons.) 2 ordalies and a nurse the room is very drab as well as the breakfast. Only after prolonged (2 hours) observation of the other pat. do I relize I am in the Insanity ward. This relization disquits me. Later in afternoon I am visited by Rimma, she comes in with two doctors, as interr she must ask me medical question; Did you know what you were doing? Ans. yes Did you blackout? No. ect. I than comp. about poor food the doctors laugh app. this is a good sign. Later they leave, I am alone with Rimma (amonst) the mentaly ill) she encourgest me and scolds me she says she will help me get trasfered to another section of Hos. (not for insane) where food is good.

Oct. 23. Transfered to ordinary ward, (airy, good food.) but nurses suspious of me.) they know). Afternoon I am visited by Rosa Agafonova of the hotel tourist office who askes about my health, very beauitful, excelant Eng., very merry and kind, she makes me very glad to be alive. Later Rimma vists

Oct. 24 Hospital routine, Rimma visits me in afternoon

Oct 25. Hospital routine, Rimma visits me in afternoon

Oct. 26 An elderly American at the hospital grows suspious about me for some reason. because at Embassy I told him I had not registered as most tourist and I am in general evasive about my presence in Moscow at and hospital. Afternoon Rimma visits.

Oct. 27 Stiches are taken out by doctor with "dull" scisor

Wed Oct. 28 Leave hospital in intorist car, with Rimma for Hotel "Berline." later I change hotels to "Metropole" all cloths packed, and money from my room (to the last kopeek) returned as well as watch, ring. Ludmilla Dimitrova (Intorist office head) and Rosa invite me to come and site and take with them any time. I get lonesome at new hotel. They feel sorry for me. Rimma notifies me that, pass & registration office wishes to see me about my future. Later Rimma and car pick me up and we enter the offices to find four offials waiting for me (all unknown to me). They ask How my arm is, I say O.K., They ask "Do you want to go to your homeland. I say no I want Sovite citizen I say I want to reside in the Soviet Union. They say they will see about that. Than they ask me about the lone offial with whom I spoke in the first place (appar. he did not pass along my request at all but thought to simply get rid of me by not extending my Soviet visa. At the time i requested it) I desqribe him (they make notes) (what papers do you have to show who and what you are? I give them my dischare papers from the Marine Corps. They say wait for our ans. I ask how long? Not soon. Later Rimma comes to check on me. I feel insulted and insult her.

Oct. 29. Hotel Room 214 Metropole Hotel. I wait. I worry. I eat once, stay next to phone worry I keep fully dressed

Oct. 30. Hotel Room I have been in hotel three days, if seems like three years. I must have some sort of a showdown!

Oct. 31. I make my dision. Getting passport at 12"00 I meet and talk with Rimma for a few minutes she says: stay in your room and eat well, I don't tell her about what I intend to do since I know she would not approve. After she leaves I wait a few minutes and than I catch a taxi, "American Embassy" I say. 12"30, I arrive American Embassy, I walk in and say to the receptionist, 'I would like to see the Consular" she points at a large lager and says "If you are a tourist please register". I take out my American passport and lay it in the desk, I have come to dissolve my American citizenship. i say matter-of-factly she rises and enters the office of Richard Snyder American Head Consular in Moscow at that time. He invites me to sit down. He finishes a letter he is typing and than asks what he can do for me. I tell him I have dicided to take Soviet citizenship and would like to leagly dissolve my U.S. citizenship. His assitant (now Head Consular) McVickers looks up from his work. Snyder takes down personall Information, asks questions, warnes me not to take any steps before the soviets except me, says I am a "fool", and says the dissolution papers are along time in preparing (In other words refuses to allow me at that time to dissolve U.S. citiz. I state "my mind is make up" From this day forward I consider myself no citizen of the U.S.A. I spend 40 minutes at the Embassy before Snyder says "now unless you wish to expound on your maxist belifes you can go." I wish to dissolve U.S. citiz, not today he says in effect. I leave Embassy, elated at this showdown, returning to my hotel I feel now my enorgies are not spent in vain. I'm sure Russians will except me after this sign of my faith in them. 2:00 a knock, a reporter by the name of Goldstene wants an interview I'm flabbergassed "how did you find out? The Embassy called us." He said. I send him away I sit and relize this is one way to bring pressure on me. By notifing my relations in U.S. through the newspapers. Atthough they would say "its for the public record." A half hour later another reporter Miss Mosby comes. I ansewer a few quick questions after refusing an interview. I am surprised at the interest. I get phone calls from "Time" at night a phone call from the States I refuse all calles without finding out who's it from. I feel non-deplused because of the attention 10:00 I retire.

Nov. 1 more reporters, 3 phone calls from brother & mother, now I feel slightly axzillarated, not so lonly.

Nov -2-15 Days of utter loneliness I refuse all reports phone calls I remaine in my room, I am racked with dsyentary.

Nov. 15 -- I decide to give an interview, I have Miss Mosbys card so I call her. She drives right over. I give my story, allow pictures, later story is distorted, sent without my perrmission, that is: before I ever saw and O.K.'ed her story. Again I feel slightly better because of the attention.

Nov. 16. A Russian official comes to my room askes how I am. Notifies me I can remain in USSR till some solution in found with what to do with me, it is comforting news for me.

Nov 17 - Dec. 30 I have bought myself two self-teaching Russian Lan. Books I force myself to study 8 hours a day. I sit in my room and read and memorize words. All meals I take in my room. Rimmea arranged that. It is very cold on the streets so I rarley go outside at all for this month and a-half. I see no one speak to no-one accept every-now-and-than Rimmea, who calls the ministry about me. Have they forgotten?. During December I paid no money to the hotel, but Rimmer told Hotel I was expecting alot of money from USA. I have $28. left. This month I was called to the passport office and met 3 new offials who asked me the same questions I ans. a month before. They appear not to know me at all.

Dec. 31. New Yearseve, I spend in the company of Rosa Agafoneva at the Hotel Berlin, she has the duty. I sit with her untill past mignight, she gives me a small "Boratin," clown, for a New Years present. She is very nice. I found out only recently she is married, has small son who was born crippled, that is why she is so strangly tender and compeling.

Jan 1 - 4 No change in routine.

Jan 4. I am called to passport office and finilly given a Soviet document not the soviet citizenship as I so wanted, only a Residence document, not even foringners but a paper called "for those without citizenship." Still I am happy. The offial says they are sending me to the city of "Minsk." I ask "is that in Siberia? He only laughes. he also tells me that they have arranged for me to recive some money though the Red Cross. to pay my hotel bills and expensis. I thank the gentelemen and leave later in the afternoon I see Rimma "she asks are you happy" "yes"

Jan. 5. I go to Red Cross in Moscow for money with Interrupter (a new one). I recive 5000. rubles a huge sum!! Later in Mink I am to earn 70 rubles a month at the factory.

Jan. 7. I leave Moscow by train for Minsk, Belorussia. My hotel bill was 2200, rubles and the train ticket to Minsk 150. rubles so I have alot of money & hope. I wrote my brother & mother letters in which i said "I do not wish to every contact you again." I am begining anew life and I don't want any part of the old". Arrive in Minsk, met by 2 women Red Cross workers. We go to Hotel "Minsk" I take room, and meet Rosa and Stellina two persons from intourist in hotel who speak English. Stellina is in 40's nice married young child, Rosa about 23 blond attractive unmarried. Excellant English, we attract each other at once.

Jan 8. I meet the city mayor, comrade Shrapof. who welcomes meto Minsk promisis a rent-free apartment "soon" and warns me about "uncultured persons" who somethimes insuit foriengers. My interputer: Roman Detkof. Head For. Tech Instit. next door.

Jan 10. The day to myself I walk through city, very nice.

Jan. 11 I vist Minsk radio factory where I shall work. There I meet Argentinian Immigrant Alexander Zeger. Born a Polish Jew. Immi to Argen. in 1938 and backto Polish homeland (now part of Belo.) in 1955 speaks English with Amer. accent he worked for Amer. com. inArgen. He is Head of a Dept. a quialified Engenier, in late 40's mild mannered likable. He seems to want to tell me somet. I show him my tempor. docu. and say soon I shall have Russ. citz.

Jan. 13 - 16 I work as "checker" metal worker, pay: 700 rubles a month, work very easy, I am learning Russian quickly. Now, Everyone is very freindly and kind. I meet many young Russian workers my own age they have varied personalities all wish to know about me even offer to hold a mass meeting so I can say. I refuse politely. At night I take Rosa to the thearter, movie or operor almost every day I'm living big and am very satisfied. I recive a check from the Red Cross every 5th of the month "to help." The check is 700 rubles. Therefor every month I make 1400.R. about the same as the Directory of the factory! Zeger oberves me during this time. I don't like: picture of Lenin which watches frome its place of honour and phy. training at 11.-11.10 each morning (compulsory). for all. (shades of H.G. Wells!!)

March 16. I recive a small flat one-room kicten-bath near the factory (8 min. walk) with splendid view from 2 balconies of the river, almost rent free (60. rub. a mon.) It is a Russians dream.

March 17 - April 31 - work, I have lost contact with Rosa after my house moving. I meet Pavil Golovacha. A yonuge man my age friendly very intelligent a exalant radio techniction his father is Gen. Golovacha Commander of Northwestenr Siberia. Twice hero of USSR in W.W.2.

May 1 - May Day came as my first holiday all factories Ect. closed after sptacular military parade all workers parad past reviewing stand waving flags and picutres of Mr. K. ect. I follow Amer. custom of marking a Holiday by sleeping in in the morning. At night I visit with the Zegers daughters at an party throw by them about 40 people came many of Argentine origen we dance and play around and drink until 2am. when party breaks up. Leonara Zeger oldest dau. 26 formally married, now divorced, a talanted singer. Anita Zeger 20 very gay, not so attractive but we hit it off. Her Boy-friend Alferd is a Hungrarian chap, silent and brooding, not at all like Anita. Zeber advises me to go back to U.S.A. its the first voice of oppossition I have heard. I respect Zeger, he has seen the world. He says many things, and relats many things I do not know about the U.S.S.R. I begin to feel uneasy inside, its true!

June-July Summer months of green beauty, pine forest very deep. I enjoy many Sundays in the enviroments of Minsk. with the Zegers who have a car "mos.vick" Alfred always goes along with Anita, Leonara seems to have no permanet Boy-friend, but many admirirs. She has a beautiful Spanish figure, long black hair, like Anita. I never pay much atten. to her shes too old for me she seems to dislike my lack of attention for some reason. She is high strung. I have become habituatated to a small cafe which is where I dine in the evening the food is generally poor and always eactly the same, menue in any cafe, at any point in the city. The food is cheap and I dont really care about quiality after three years in the U.S.M.C.

Aug-Sept As my Russian improves I become increasingly concious of just what sort of a society I live in. Mass gymnastics, comulsary after work meeting, usually political information meeting. Compulsary attendance at lectures and the sending of the entire shop collective (except me) to pick potatoes on a Sunday, at a State colletive farm. A "patroict duty" to bring in the harvest. The opions of the workers (unvoiced) are that its a great pain in the neck. They don't seem to be esspicialy enthusiastic about any of the "collective" duties a natural feeling. I am increasingly aware of the presence, in all thing, of Lebizen, shop party secretary, fat, fortyish, and jovial on the outside. He is a no-nonsense party regular.

Oct. The coming of Fall, my dread of a new Russian winter, are mellowed in splendid golds and reds of fall in Belorussia plums peachs appricots and cherrys abound for these last fall weeks I am a healthy brown color and stuffed with fresh fruit. (at other times of the year unobtainable)

Oct. 18 my 21st birthday see's Rosa, Pavil, Ella at a small party at my place. Ella a very attractive Russian Jew I have been going walking with lately, works at the radio factory also. Rosa nad Ella are jelous of each other it brings a warm feeling to me. Both are at my place for the first time. Ella and Pavil both give ash-dtray's (I don't smoke) we have a laugh.

Nov. Finds the approach of winter now. A growing lonliness overtakes me in spite of my conquest of Ennatachina a girl from Riga, studying at the music conservorie in Minsk. After an affair which last a few weeks we part.

Nov. 15 in Nov. I make the acquaintaces of four girls rooming at the For. lan. domitory in room 212. Nell is very interesting, so is Tomka, Tomis and Alla. I usually go to the institute domatory with a friend of mine who speaks english very well. Eraich Titov is in the forth year at the medical institute. Very bright fellow. At the domitory we six sit and talk for hours in english.

Dec. 1 I am having a light affair with Nell Korobka.

Jan 1
New Years I spend at home of Ella Germain. I think I'm in love with her. She haS refused my more dishonourable advanis, we drink and eat in the presenec of her family in a very hospitable atmosfere. Later I go home drunk and happy. Passing the river homeward, I decide to propose to Ella.

Jan. 2. After a pleasent handin-hand walk to the local cinima we come home, standing on the doorstep I propose's. She hesitates than refuses, my love is real but she has none for me. Her reason besides lack of love; I am american and someday might be arrested simply because of that example Polish Inlervention in the 20's. led to arrest of all people in the Soviet Union of polish oregen "you understand the world situation there is too much against you and you don't even know it." I am stunned she snickers at my awkarness in turning to go (I am too stunned too think!). I realize she was never serious with me but only explited my being an american, in order to get the envy of the other girls who consider me different from the Russian Boys. I am miserable!

Jan 3. I am miserable about Ella. I love her but what can I do? It is the state of fear which was always in the Soviet Union.

Jan. 4. On year after I recived the residence document I am called in to the passport office and asked if I want citizenship (Russian) I say no simply extend my residental passport to agree and my document is extended until Jan 4. 1962.

Jan-4-31 I am stating to reconsider my disire about staying. The work is drab the money I gt has nowhere to be spent. No nightclubs or bowling allys no places of recreation acept the trade union dances I have have had enough.

Feb. 1st Make my first request to American Embassy, Moscow for reconsidering my position. I stated "I would like to go back to U.S."

Feb. 28th I recive letter from Embassy. Richard E. Sneyder stated "I could come in for an inteview anytime I wanted."

March 1-16 I now live in a state of expectation about going back to the U.S. I confided with Zeger he supports my judgment but warnes me not to tell any Russians bout my desire to reture. I understade why now.

March 17 -- I and Erich went to trade union dance. Boring but at the last hour I am introduced to a girl with a French hair-do and red-dress with white slipper I dance with her. than ask to show her home I do, along with 5 other admirares. Her name is Marina. We like each other right away. she gives me her phone number and departs home with an not-so-new freiend in a taxi, I walk home.

March 18-31-- We walk I talk a little about myself she talks alot about herself. her name is Marina N. Prosakoba.

Apr: 1st-30 We are going steady and I decide I must have her, she puts me off so on April 15 I propose, she accepts.

April 3', after a 7 day delay at the marraige beaure because of my unusual passport they allow us to regitra as man & wife two of Marinas girl friends act as bridesmaids. We are married at her aunts home we have a dinner reception for about 20 friends and neboribor who wish us happiness (in spite of my origin and accept) which was in general rather disquiting to any Russian since for. are very rare in the soviet union even tourist. after an evening of eating and drinking in which uncle Wooser started a fright and the fuse blow on an overloaded dircite. We take our leave and walk the 15 minutes to hour home. We lived near each other. at midnight we were home.

1st May Day 1961. Found us thinking about our future. Inspite of fact I married Marina to hurt Ella I found myself in love with Marina.

May -- The transistion of changing full love from Ella to Marina was very painfull esp. as I saw Ella almost every day at the factory but as the days and weeks went by I adjusted more and more my wife mentaly. I still haden't told my wife of my desire to return to US. She is maddly in love with me from the very start, boat rides on Lake Minsk walks throught the parks evening at home or at Aunt Valia's place mark May.

June -- A continuence of May, except. that; we draw closer and closer, and I think very little now of Ella. in the last days of this month I revele my longing to return to America. My wife is slightly startled. But than encourages me to do what I wish to do.

July -- I decived to take my two week vacation and travel to Moscow (without police permission) to the American Embassy to see about geting my U.S. passport back and make arrangements for my wife to enter the U.S. with me.

July 8 -- I fly by plane to Minsk on a il - 20, 2 hrs 20 m later after taking a tearful and anxiou parting from my wife I arrive in Moscow departing by bus. From the airfield I arrive in the center of the city. Making my way through heavy traffic I don't come in sight of the embassy until 3:00 in the afternoon. Its Saturday what if they are closed? Entering I find the offices empty but mange to contact Snyder on the phone (since all embassy personal live in the same building) he comes down to greet me shake my hand after interview he advises me to come in first thing mon. (see -- July 8 - 13)

July 8. Interview July 9 recive passport; call Marina to Moscow also.

July 14. I and Marina returen to Minsk.

July 15 Marina at work, is shocked to find out there everyone knows she entered the U.S. embassy. They were called at her place of work from some officials in Moscow." The boses hold a meeting and give her a strong browbeating. The first of many indocrinations.

July 15 Aug 20. we have found ou;which blanks and certifikates are necessceary to apply -- for a exit visa they number about 20 papers; Birth certificates affidavite photos ect. On Aug 20th we give the papers out they say it will be three and a half months months before we know wheather they'll let us go or not. in the meantime Marina has had to stade 4 different meetng at the place of work held by her Boss's at the direction of "someone" by phone. The young comm. league headquthers also called about her and she had to go see them for one and a half hrs. The purpose (expressed) is to disaude her from going to the U.S.A., Net effect: Make her more stubborn about wanting to go. Marina is pregnet, we only hope that the visas come through soon.

Aug. 21-Sept. 1 -- I make expected trips to the passport & visa office also to ministry of for. affairs in Minsk, also Min. of Interal affairs, all of which have a say in the granting of a visa. I extracked promises of quick attention to US.

Sept - Oct 18. No word from Min. (They'll call us.") Marina leaves Minsk by train on vaction to the city of Khkov in the Urals to vist an aunt for 4 weeks. During this time I am lonely but I and Erich go to the dances and public places for enitanment. I havent done this in quite a few months now. I spend my birthday alone at the opera watching my favoriot "Queen of Spades." I am 22 years old.

Nov-2 Marina arrives back, radient, with several jars of preserses for me from her her aunt in Khkov.

Nov-Dec. Now we are becoming anoid about the delay Marina is beginning to waiver about toing to the US. Probably from the strain and her being pregrate, still we quarrel and so things are not to bright esp. with teh approach of the hard Russian winter.

Dec 25th Xmas Day Tues. Marina is called to the passport & visa office. She is told we have been granted Soviet exit visa's. She fills out the completing blank and then comes home with the news. Its great (I think!). New Years, we spend at the Zeger's at a dinner party at midnight. attended by 6 other persons.

Jan. 4. I am called to the passport office since my Residenceal passport expires today, since I now have a US. passport in my possition I am given a totly new resid. pass. called, "Pass. for Forin," and since they have given US perrmission to leave, and know we shall, good to July 5, 1962.

Jan 15.

Feb. 15. Days of cold Russian winter. But we feel fine. Marina is supposed to have baby on March 1st.

Feb 15 -- Dawn. Marina wakes me up. Its her time. At 9:00 we arrive at the hospital I leave her in care of nurses and leave to go to work. 10:00 Marina has a baby girl. when I vist the hospital at 500 after work, I am given news. We both wanted a boy. Marina feels well, baby girl, O.K.

Feb. 23 Maria leaves hospital I see June for first time.

Feb 28. I go to registra (as prespibed by law) the baby. I want her name to be June Marina Oswald. But those Beaurecrats say her middle name must be the same as my first. A Russian custom support by a law. I refuse to have her name written as "June Lee." They promise to call the city ministry (city hall) and find out in this case since I do have an U.S. passport.

Feb. 29. I am told that nobody knows what to do exactly, but everyone agrees "Go ahead and do it, "Po-Russki." Name: June Lee.

March. The last commiques are exchanged between myself and Embassy. letters are always arriving from my mother and brother in the U.S. I have still not told Erich afraid he is too good a young communist leage member to I'll wait till last min.

March 24 - Marina quits her job in the formal fashion.

March 26 - I recive a letter from Immigration and Natur. service at San Antonio, Texas, that Marina has had her visa petition to the U.S. (Approved!!) The last document. Now we only have to wait for the U.S. Embassy to receive their copy of the approval so they can officially give the go ahead.

March 27 I recive letter from a Mr. Philles (a employ. of my mother, pleging to support my wife in case of need.

April -

12:30 arrive in "Bolga" type taxi, two Russian policemen stand at the Embassy, one salutes as I approach I entranc of the embassy and says "passport" I smile and show my passport. He motions me to pass inside as I wish. Their can be little doubt I'm sure in his mind that I'm a American. Light overcoat, not hat or scarf and non-Russian button down shirt & tie. Entering I find the office of "consular" sign opening the door I go in. A secretary busy typing looks up. "Yes"? she says "I'd like to see the consular." I say. "Will you sign the tourist registar please," she says dryly, going back to her typing. "Yes, but before I'll do that, I'd like to see the consular," laying my passport on her desk, as she looks up puzzled, I'm here to dissove my american citizenship." She rises and taking my passport goes into the open inter office, where she lays the passport on a mans desk, saying 'there is a Mr. Oswald outside, who says he's here to dissolve his U.S. citizenship. "OK" the man says, "thanks" He says to the girl without looking up from his typing, she, as she comes out, invites me into the inter office to sit down. I do so, selecting an armchair to the front left side of Snyders desk (it was Snyder whom I talked too head consular) I wait, crossing my legs and laying my gloves in my lap. He finishes typing, removes the letter from his typewriter and adjusting his glasses looks at me. "What can I do for you he asks" leafing through my passport. "I'm here to dissolve my U.S. citizenship and would like to sing the legle papers to that effect." have you applyed for Russian citizenship? yes. He taking out a piece of paper and says "before we get to that I'd like some personal infor." He ask my name, personal information to which I ansewer than: "your reasons for coming." I say I have experienced life in the U.S., American military life, American Imperilism. I am a Marxist, and I waited two years for this I don't want to live in the U.S. or be burtained by American citizenship. He says ok. Thats all unless you want to profound your "Marxist belifes" you can go. I said I'v requested that I be allowed to sign legal papers devasting myself of U.S. citizen. Do you refuse me that right"? He says. 'Uhg. no, but the papers will take some time to get ready in the meantime where are you staying "room 212 at the Metropole," I state, angry at being refused a right I start to leave "you'll tell us what the Russ. do next" I turn very mad "of course" I say and leave.

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